How I Got My Agent

Highs and Lows

In November 2019 I drafted my ‘How I Got My Agent’ blog post. I’d dreamed of writing one and could barely believe it was actually happening. I’d turned 30 in September and a wave of awesome things happened to, and for me. I felt incredible, and excited for what 2020 would bring.

The year started well enough when another dream came true; Banjo. I took the plunge and got myself a puppy.

Feeling motivated, I finished my website (well, the incredible Meg finished my website), I set up my Chapter Critique Service, wrote my first blog post and created a poll for the next. Despite it being months after the fact, ‘How I Got My Agent’ won.

And then the Pandemic came.

It tipped my life upside down for a bit. Those first few weeks, I really struggled. I’m lucky to have a garden and thank the stars for Banjo, but I also couldn’t see beyond the fact that I’m across the continent from my family. It’s still hard to imagine how long I’ll be separated from them. Beyond that, I’d just gone on sub, and work was kicking my arse. I know I’m lucky to still be able to work, but it was a lot.

Not only did it not feel appropriate to write this blog post, I also just couldn’t do it.

Things are still hard, but they’re better. I’ve finished my draft of my next project and sent it to my agent, work is more manageable, and Banjo has been an angel for the past two weeks. So here I am, attempting to reboot my life. Just in time for DVpit!

I connected with my agent through this wonderful pitch contest, and I’m sending all the good vibes to those of you that are currently sending chapters to agents that liked your pitches. If you didn’t receive likes? DON’T PANIC. Short pitches are an art form, and the volume of pitches is so huge many will be missed. Traditional querying is still the standard.

Regardless, this felt like the best time to look back and celebrate something that was good, that continues to be good, and that I hope will be good for many years to come.

Bear with me; this will be long.

Character Development

I’m that cliche that has been writing forever. Like, since I was six. I still have a floppy disc (who’s old? ME) from when I was eight that has my first ever novel on it – The Land of No Return. My mum’s house has boxes FULL of notebooks FULL of random scraps and entire stories. I was determined to be the first child to ever be published, and then a teenager, and so on…

I only really took a break from writing when I hit my uni years, but not because I was partying all the time and hanging out with my friends. As an English and History student, I spent so much time writing and reading I just couldn’t bring myself to do the same in my spare time. I had a project from before uni that I nibbled at but didn’t really knuckle down on.

I graduated from uni in 2012 and had big plans to move to London, but that wasn’t a straightforward jump. While job hunting, I asked my mum to give me the summer. As a family we don’t have much money, so I knew I needed to get a job as soon as possible, but I also really wanted to get the book I was working on done. Now was the time, and I thought it might be my only time. Mum agreed that as long as I set some time aside each day to job hunt, she wouldn’t pressure me too much. Within two months, I completed the book and it was time to query.

Just to note something completely wild; the majority of agencies asked for queries BY SNAIL MAIL IN 2012! Every time I remember this, it blows my mind.

Essentially, my first attempt at querying was a shambles. I couldn’t afford to print my book multiple times, so I only queried three agencies and never heard anything back. But I’d finished a book! And I was proud of it! This couldn’t be the end, could it?

Fearing that I’d never have the means to mass query, I decided to self-publish. While this experiment didn’t work out (the books weren’t good enough, but I also don’t think self-publishing suits me) it was a helpful learning experience. I made some great connections and some even greater friends and became much more well versed with the industry.

To the annoyance of my fans (my family and friends) I wrote two books of a trilogy over the course of two years before I accepted that writing these books was – ultimately – a waste of the little time I had. At this point I was working full-time in London and finding moments to sit down and write was increasingly difficult. The Bear’s War will likely never exist, and I do NOT encourage anyone to read the first two books. Please, and thank you.

Freshly determined, I studied craft and set out on my next manuscript. By the time it was finished in 2016, queries had almost entirely switched to email. I loved the book (and still do) and felt like THIS was it.

It wasn’t. I got a couple of full requests and felt boosted by multiple agents telling me I was ‘a talented writer’ (funny how this starts feeling less complimentary when you’ve heard it a billion times paired with rejections), but no offers. I’m terrible at querying and gave up pretty fast. With a heavy heart, I shelved the manuscript. Generally, though, I didn’t feel too downbeat. I knew I hadn’t chosen an easy path, that the journey would be long, but at least I had some feedback to work with.

Luckily, I had my next project on the go already. I hadn’t really written anything, but I’d been pulling ideas together since late 2015 and it became my focus in late 2016. That project was Wind Walker.

Credit:Megan Manzano

The Inciting Incident

Unfortunately, it was around this time that my physical and mental health nosedived. I’ve had Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis and Uveitis (eye condition – and I’m clinically blind in one eye) since I was eighteen months old. During this period, I had the worst flare of my life; I could barely move, and I could barely see from my good eye. My medication wasn’t working, and over the course of those eight months I became depressed.

Eventually, things improved but this was a turning point in my life. Since then, I’ve found myself more susceptible to depressive episodes and I’ve developed fairly severe anxiety.

On top of all that, by late 2017 I was miserable at my job and I never had time to write. I looked at all of these problems and decided that I had to do something.

It was time to follow a dream; I was going to move to Italy.

The full story probably deserves a post of its own, and this is already long, but taking this step was a huge risk in many ways. I’d be giving up a full-time job with no guarantee of finding work abroad. I’d be risking my health because as much as me and mum tried to understand what options were available for me, we weren’t getting anywhere. And – whether or not I found work – I knew I was facing a huge financial cut and a life far from my family and friends.

It wasn’t all fear, though. I was also incredibly lucky. I have Italian family, so I had an empty house to live in (a full HOUSE, can you believe?!) and lots of people ready to help me get settled. Most importantly, I had the support of family and friends back home.

I went for it. There was one, deeply upsetting, setback in May 2018. But by July, I was off.

Happily Ever After?

I got super lucky.

Within two weeks of arriving I had a job teaching English and – in a twist of fate – my boss has the exact same form of Arthritis as me. She was able to help me sort my healthcare straight away and I was soon spending my days teaching toddlers, drinking too much coffee, and soaking up sun-filled hours with plenty of time left to focus on my writing.

I have a writing room here, with an actual desk! Sure, the house is falling apart and there are many, many issues with it, but damn them all. My desk looks out at a view of mountains.

Inspired and refreshed, I knew I’d made the right call.

Wind Walker

You’ve trawled through the backstory. Now, the book!

Over the four years I spent working on Wind Walker, it morphed into something completely different by February 2019. I was convinced I’d found its final form. By this point, I’d connected with some brilliant critique partners who I’m delighted to now call friends, and I decided to enter DVpit. I spent an intensely stressful day in April staring at twitter for hours on end.

I think I got six likes from agents, which was significantly less than many others, but you only need one. The one was Megan Manzano.

A few weeks later, Megan requested the full. I was excited, but I’m an eternal pessimist and I’d been here before. At this point, I’d started querying in small batches. I received a couple more full requests and started to feel annoyingly hopeful.

Every morning, the first thing I’d do was check my inbox. It’d become so automatic that when Megan’s name popped up again it took me a solid thirty minutes to comprehend. No joke. I lay in bed for half an hour before I opened her email.

A pang of disappointment; it was an R&R (check out my more detailed post on revising and resubmitting here). Then, half an hour of panic. She wanted me to cut a character! She wanted me to change a dynamic that I loved! She wanted me to change the final chapter which was one of my favourites!

Once the panic passed, I was excited. I’d thought Wind Walker was as finished as it could be, but all of Megan’s suggestions made sense. I stopped sending out new queries and got to work. In early September, just before my 30th, it was ready. I sent it to Megan, as well as other agents. I got another full request. I crossed my fingers.

September was a glorious month for me, and then October started with a bang. Megan’s name popped up in my inbox and, this time, she wanted to arrange a call. CUE FREAKING OUT. My friends were all certain she was going to make an offer, but I live in a world where I protect myself from disappointment by always assuming the worst. I told myself she was going to make more revision suggestions, right up until the moment I saw her face and…

SHE OFFERED.

It was incredible. Hearing her talk about my book with such passion was surreal, hearing her energy and enthusiasm was heartening. Most of all, we just really got on. I managed to stay pretty calm on the call itself, but much crying and screaming came after. Mostly just me on my own, face down on my bed.

The two weeks that followed were the longest of my life. The snowball effect kicked in as many had said it would. I let other agents know I’d received an offer and suddenly there were full requests popping up and a wave of interest. It was overwhelming and flattering, but whenever I pictured the future, I saw myself working with Megan.

There are lots of things to think about when it comes to choosing an agent. Ultimately, your agent is going to be your partner throughout highs and lows. The essential thing is that you can work together, that you’re on a similar wavelength, and that you have a similar vision.

I felt immediately comfortable with Megan. I trusted her vision of Wind Walker, and her R&R notes proved to me that she has an incredible editorial eye. In the end, it was an easy decision.

I signed the contract.

To The Horizon…

I was right to. Working with Megan has been a dream.

We went through another round of minor revisions before line edits. Then, in January of this year, my precious book baby went on sub. Cross your fingers for me guys.

And now we’re working on the next project, because the grind never stops. I’m hopeful for Wind Walker, but I’m also excited for #angrybook which is now with my agent for the first time. I can’t WAIT to hear her thoughts on it, as I know her input will help me take it to the next level.

These are strange times, full of pain and stress and fear. Looking back on this moment of happiness has made me smile, just as writing makes me smile. I can’t always do it; either because I don’t have the time, or because my brain is too stressed to create. And that’s okay.

So, whether you’re writing now, or not. Whether you had a successful DVpit, or not. If writing is your joy and your passion, I beg you to keep pushing yourself. Don’t just write more, but try new things. Study the craft and take criticism well. Tip your story upside down if you have to. It truly is a marathon and not a sprint. I’ve been at this since 2012 and while I’m closer to the dream than ever, I’m still not there yet. One thing I know is that the more you’re willing to tear everything up, the closer you are to getting the agent of your dreams. And once you’ve got your agent, you’ll be ready to fight together to send your words out into the world.

Looking for feedback on the opening chapters of your manuscript? Check out my FREE chapter critique service.