Plain text version of this blog post here.

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WELCOME

Welcome to #TeamSaltHalo! We are Natalie Crown and Angelica Monai (think Monét like the painter - my mom was fancy on the spelling), and this is our first time mentoring for Pitch Wars. We’re accepting manuscripts in the YA category and are open to New Adult, but expect us to age it down.

Wondering what exactly Pitch Wars is? It’s a mentoring program where published/agented authors, editors, or industry interns choose one mentee each to spend three months revising their manuscript. It ends in February with an Agent Showcase, where agents can read a pitch/first page and request to read more. You can find more about Pitch Wars here!

As an applicant, you’ll get to select up to four mentors to submit to. If your MS (manuscript) falls anywhere in the realm of YA speculative fiction, be it thriller/horror/fantasy/sci-fi/adventure (pausing for a dramatic breath) SUB US! With #TeamSaltHalo, we promise to bring you the best of both worlds—50% angel halo, 50% devil salt (because Satan is obviously salty). Curious as to what that means, keep scrolling. We got you.

ABOUT US

Natalie Crown has been writing fantastical tales since floppy discs were still a thing (she still owns one with Nat’s Story scrawled over it in purple gel pen). Growing up in the English countryside meant she had a lot of free time to spend devouring books, playing video games, and scribbling her way through countless notebooks.

After two years in the south of Italy, Natalie has moved back to said English countryside with her dog, Banjo, and works as a freelance editor while writing her latest books (and still playing lots of video games). Having lived with a chronic illness her whole life, and being clinically blind in one eye, she’s excitedly filling her tales with disabled protagonists that are more than their afflictions.

Natalie’s Chapter Critique Editorial Service

Agent: Megan Manzano, D4EO Literary Agency

When it comes down to it, Angelica Monai is just a girl turning daydreams (and nightmares) into manuscripts. She’s a lover of all things steeped in mystery, magic, and myth, and her stories are often inspired by the characters in her life, blended with her own experience as a Black woman. If she’s not writing or designing, you can find her nose deep in a book or playing video games with her husband and two kids.

Her YA mystery debut, Hunt A Killer: Perfect Score, comes out Spring 2022 with Scholastic.

Add it on Goodreads.

Preorder options here.

Agent: Allison D. Hellegers, Stimola Literary Studio

Natalie’s Journey

I’m a bit of a cliché because I’ve been writing fantasy novels pretty much…forever? Sure, my earliest (The Land of No Return, just so you know) was never completed – along with countless other new ideas – but I was very aware that I wanted to write fantasy fiction from a really young age. I first completed an MS age 12, and then kept on chipping away over the years. As an Old, I had no community and no real concept of how the publishing industry worked, but I definitely had big dreams.

My pursuit of actual publishing began once I finished uni (unlike many of you, I did the least writing of my life while studying for my degree). I dipped my toe into self-pub (after SNAIL MAIL querying three agents and then running out of money to print), quickly realising I wasn’t suited for it, and then dove into the query trenches. My first MS didn’t land me an agent back in 2016, but some great feedback gave me a boost, and forming connections with other writers really helped me improve my craft. Taking all of that on board, my next MS was ‘the one’. I received an R&R, which was my first real experience of editorial work, and then I got my offer late in 2019. I signed with Megan Manzano of D4EO Literary Agency and have been having a blast ever since. We are currently on sub with my YA dark fantasy known as #AngryBook so cross your fingers for us (sub is an endeavour).

Of course, my journey isn’t only about writing. When the pandemic dramatically changed my living circumstances, I decided to try my hand as a freelance developmental editor. I’ve been doing this for over a year now - full time since May - and I’m thrilled to confirm that…I’m really good at it? I have a strong editorial eye, and a great grasp of craft. A number of my clients (testimonials here) have gone on to sign with agents, get into Pitch Wars (oh hey!), and sell books. My success as an editor is what has given me the confidence to know I have a lot to offer our future mentee. I can’t wait to work with you.

Angelica’s Journey

Where to start, where to start! I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, drafting my earliest short story with a friend at the age of seven. It was all of five pages about a monstrous spider that to this day, still creeps me out. My first complete MS was a YA romance (written in verse) I finished in high school. Life happened and I took a break from my publishing dream.

After college, I was ready to try again. I had an outline ready, Act 1 drafted, a list of agents to snail mail (yes, I’m old too), and was convinced I had the next New York Times Bestseller. I shared some snippets with a friend and their feedback was - while it was amazing, it reminded them of this new show they started watching, Avatar: The Last Airbender. At the time, I knew nothing about comps, and convinced myself to throw out the story. Five years later, I would pick up my pen and start drafting a new WIP inspired by the old. This would be the book I finally finished and queried in 2020, leading to a number of full requests, an R&R, and two offers.

This is where things get funky. I turned down my first offer for an R&R. It was a huge leap of faith, but I was ready to channel my inner Enzo (Assassin’s Creed reference) and just jump. While working on my R&R, my future agent asked if I would be interested in submitting a sample chapter for an IP project. She already loved my voice, and felt this project would be a great fit. If selected, I would sign with her immediately.

So I did it.

I turned in my R&R later that month. Within two hours, I got a call from Alli telling me Scholastic loved my sample chapter and wanted me to write the first YA novel for the Hunt A Killer franchise. Reader: I completely lost my mind. Fast forward to present day, I still can’t believe it, but I do know, I’m excited to do something I’ve always dreamed about—reach down the ladder and pull one of you up with me.

WHY US?

There are so many spectacular mentors to choose from, so why should you pick us?

First of all, we’re very laid-back and easy to get on with. We’re friendly, enthusiastic, and energised, but at the same time we like to think we’re a calming influence too. Pitch Wars is incredibly exciting, but it can also be a bit of a whirlwind. We believe we can help steer you through that, while keeping a smile on your face.

We’re both fully focused on making your MS the absolute strongest it can be, down to every detail. Beyond that, we’re committed to making sure it remains the story of your heart and will work closely with you to ensure our feedback doesn’t tug you away from any element or theme that’s essential to you. We are ready to cheer you on and lift you up. We will be that embarrassing auntie that brings up your success in any and all conversations.

Not yet convinced? *cracks knuckles*

• Natalie is the salt of the team. Her feedback will be intensive, and it might look like a lot of red (though, she’ll also be pointing out the parts she thinks are awesome). She believes that a critique should focus on areas of improvement over anything else, but…

• That’s where Angelica – our halo – comes in. She’s a big fan of the compliment sandwich and pulling on your MS’ best elements to highlight areas we think the story could lean into.

• We offer BALANCE. Which isn’t to say that Natalie is a demon (she’s nice, actually) nor that Angelica will never give critical feedback, but Natalie’s strength lies in her experience as an editor, while Angelica’s strength lies in her experience of publishing. We feel we offer the best of both worlds. (Please also be assured that you will not receive conflicting feedback from us; we will work through everything together before we send any feedback to you, so all you have to concentrate on is polishing your wonderful story.)

• We both read constantly across genres and age groups, but our hearts lie with YA SFF and we’re well versed regarding the current market and marketability. We’re also both active within the book community on various forms of social media, so do come get to know us.

• We both have experience applying to Pitch Wars (and not getting in!) so we’ve been in your shoes and we know exactly what it feels like.

• Following on from that, we’ve also both been through the struggle of the query trenches and submission. The path through this industry is long and winding. We get it, we’ve lived it, and we’re ready to go on that journey all over again at your side.

• As mentioned, Natalie has extensive experience as a freelance editor. She zeroes in on ways to improve craft with laser focus, and developmental edits are her bread and butter. She can’t wait to talk pacing and character arcs with you.

• We both have extensive experience of pitch contests (we both signed with our agents through #DVPit/#PitMad) and are absolute pros at polishing up pitch materials. We will help you shine.

• Angelica is pretty awesome at making graphics or aesthetics, and she can’t wait to make them for your fabulous MS!

• And finally, we’re dedicated to reaching back and helping other authors climb onto this publishing path with us. Within whatever boundaries you set, we’re not just looking to be your mentors but also your friends. We’re in this for the long haul, and all of our knowledge and experience will be at your disposal.

MENTORING / COMMUNICATION STYLE

Our goal for this mentorship is to push our mentee to be their best self while churning out a manuscript they’ll love. This begins before selection. Before we choose you as our mentee, we’ll send out a small list of questions to understand your vision for your story, things you stand firm on not changing, and what you hope the reader walks away with. This helps us see which parts of the story we need to strengthen, and which parts we need to adjust to make this manuscript shine. Once selected, we will have an introductory call to go over your responses in more detail, set a schedule and boundaries, and just get to know each other. Be prepared for cameos from Natalie’s dog, Banjo, and Angelica’s super active kiddos.

We will read your manuscript three times, the first being during the selection process. After mentees are announced, we’ll provide an edit letter with feedback, developmental edits (big picture on plot, character, arcs, and setting/world-building), and a copy of your manuscript with some in-chapter reactions. The next read, we’ll focus on line/copy edits (line level focus on sentence structure, word choice, and strengthening that voice we fell in love with). The last read is to double check how everything has come together. Throughout this process, we’ll also be helping you to prepare your submission package: query, synopsis, twitter pitches, and an agent list. The agent showcase will be amazing—but we plan to prepare our mentee to be ready beyond that. After all, for us, this mentorship goes beyond these three months. You’re stuck with us.

Our communication style is open and can be tailored to the preferences of our mentee. We’ll have a group chat to stay in communication, and can offer things like bi-weekly video calls. We are in two different time zones on either side of the Atlantic so there will be a wide range of hours for you to catch one of us for a chat, as our availability will differ. This is something we’ll go over in that first initial call.

As we’ve hinted, we have two different styles of critique, but what we have in common is honest feedback. We aren’t going to make wild suggestions like—hey let’s add dragons to your space opera (unless…?)! Instead, we’re going to take what you give us and help make it shine. This is only possible by us taking a deep dive into your amazing MS and being clear about eliminating the weaker parts. You might see red on every page, but know that is our love language.

OUR IDEAL MENTEE

We’re looking for a mentee who:

Is ready to improve – we wouldn’t be doing our jobs if we didn’t challenge you at all
Is communicative within whichever boundaries we establish together once you’re chosen
Is hardworking – our time together will be fun, but we’ve got dreams to reach!
Knows the story they are trying to tell, but is willing to consider big revisions (even if they ultimately decide against them)
Understands that critique doesn’t = criticism, and that every ounce of our energy will be spent on enhancing their MS
Can stick to deadlines – they’re there for a reason, and if we end up having to cram we might not have time to work to the best of our ability
Understands that there may be ups and downs, but that we’re always on your side
Is ready to embrace this opportunity and make the most of it

WISHLIST

Here. We. Go.

This list isn’t comprehensive, so while we absolutely want all of these things, if you don’t see elements of your MS on here, don’t panic! As long as it’s within the genres we accept (and not on the list of things we don’t like) then we’ll be excited to take a look.

Specific Genres (more details in the Things We Like section)

Fantasy: High/Epic, Portal, Urban/Contemporary, Magical Realism, Paranormal, Historical, Other
Science Fiction: Space Opera, Dystopian / Post Apocalyptic, Soft
Horror: either fantastical or science fiction
Historical and Alternate History (disclaimer: If your historical setting is British/French, then it will really need to wow us with something fresh)
Adventure
Retellings (of any one or more genre(s)

Things We Like

DIVERSE REP ACROSS THE BOARD (we prefer a cast that represents the diversity of today's world and for your MC to fall close to or within your lived experience)
ALL THE DISABLED CHARACTERS (our kingdom for chronic illness rep)
ALL THE QUEER REP (our kingdom for Asexual, Demisexual, and Polyamorous rep)
ALL THE MENTAL HEALTH REP
ALL THE NEURODIVERGENT REP
FAT POSITIVE REP where the MCs fatness isn’t something to overcome, but is just part of their description
Close POVs
High stakes!
Morally grey characters (more sinner than saint)
VILLAIN ORIGIN STORIES
Female MCs that are ANGRY
Female MCs that are actual assholes
Found Family – feed us your dysfunctional squads
We are big fans of ANGST and PAIN
We want BETRAYAL. We want REVENGE.
We love twists and are drooling over the thought of unreliable narrators
Friendship that really MEANS something
ALL the sibling dynamics
Home as people/person
Stoic father figures that are secret softies
Badass mother figures!
Curses! Experiments gone wrong!
Stabby stabby
We love dark fantasy with suspense/gothic/horror undertones
(Louder for the people in the back!) We love dark fantasy with suspense/gothic/horror undertones
We can handle a hopeless narrative
But we love hope within a hopeless world too!
Dystopian + Fantasy
We love magic in all its forms, as well as science mixed with magic (but not hard science because we are CREATIVES, not brainy people! Jeez!)
Hit us with your fantasy takes on Catholicism
We’re big on real world history merged with fantasy – like, extremely into it
If you treat your atmospheric settings as character – WE WANT YOU
Very into the genre blend of sci fi/fantasy
SPACE OPERA
We’ll never tire of assassins/spies/thieves/sneaky types – Inej says HI
We’d be interested in Vampires (that don’t sparkle), Werewolves, and other paranormal beings – but we want em’ DARK
Pirates are welcome, please don’t stab us
Retellings are also welcome, but we’re looking for something fresh (probably not Disney, Shakespeare, or Greek)
Original mythologies
Adventure with a dose of speculative (If you’re into video games—think Tomb Raider, Uncharted. Movies—think The Mummy circa 1999)

Things We Like – Romance Edition

First, we don’t need it! If your MS features zero romance, then we’d love to see it
We’d also love to see romance featuring ace/aro characters too
Enemies to lovers – what can we say, it’s a classic!
Lovers to enemies – but we want the betrayal to be REAL. Make it HURT. Did we mention we love betrayal?
Friends to lovers + to enemies (really, all the forms!)
We do adore fake dating
Give us a villain love interest, but only if your villain isn’t revealed to be a secret softy at the end
Forbidden love – feed us YEARNING and fleeting touches
Slow burn – the slower the burn, the better the heat in the end
Battle Couples
Soulmates/Reincarnation/Cycles doomed to repeat

Things That Are Maybe

We love sci-fi but we’re probably not the best fit for hard sci-fi
We’ll certainly consider contemporary fantasy, but other mentors might be a better fit
If romance is your central plot, then we might not be right for you. Generally, we prefer romance as a subplot, or multiple subplots.

Things We Don’t Like

No lower YA
Keep your Fae away from Mae (Me) - we’re just not the best fit for these stories!
No sports
No military fiction
No rom coms
No contemporary
No novels in verse
No graphic novels

Things That are a Hard Pass

Racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, or fatphobic content
Slutshaming or bodyshaming
On page rape or suicide
On page killing of young children
Incest
Unchecked abuse (we understand survivor stories need to be told, we’re just not the right fit as mentors)
Oppressor/oppressed romances
Stories where your MC is coming from a place of privilege to save a group of people that are oppressed and not his/her/their own
Stories representing cultures/experiences far from your own. We will not ask anyone to verify their cultural background, experiences, or identities so please use your best judgement. If you have a specific question on this bullet, please reach out to us during the Twitter Ask Mentor events, or send a DM

Vibes – Films and TV Shows (turns out we…err…don’t watch much TV?)

The Witcher (more for the high fantasy/monster vibes, but if you have Henry Cavill, we will happily accept)
Death Note (thriller/horror with speculative elements AND you’re in the villain POV? GIMME)
Fairy Tail (give us your guilds of misfits)
Vampire Diaries (give us all the Klaus vibes!)
Supernatural (give us that Dean/Castiel bromance/romance)

Vibes – Video Games

Final Fantasy (excluding FF7 due to mentor MS similarities)
Zelda (bonus points if you comp this with a genre swap)
Bloodborne
Dark Souls
Assassins Creed
God of War (give us all the anti-heroes!)
Dishonored (did we mention we love revenge and BETRAYAL)
Fire Emblem
Horizon Zero Dawn

Vibes – Books

A Darker Shade of Magic
Six of Crows
Circe
Daughter of Smoke and Bone
Witches Steeped in Gold
The Year of the Witching
Gideon the Ninth
The Poppy War
Raybearer
The Diviners
Crownchasers
City of Brass
A Sorcery of Thorns
Dangerous Remedy
The Bone Shard Daughter
Finnikin of the Rock

A collage of the books in our vibes list

FINAL NOTE

Phew. Is that everything?

Do you think your MS aligns with our wishlist? SUB US! Have any questions? Look for us during Twitter Chats! Curious about our editing style? Check on this critique we did here..

What you are doing is amazing. Whether or not you get into Pitch Wars, you’ve put yourself out there and above all—you finished a manuscript! That’s the hardest part. Please celebrate that. In the end, getting into Pitch Wars doesn’t define you or your MS. Neither one of us got in, and we both have agents. You’ll find many of the mentors will share that same story. This is one avenue, not the only one.

All that’s left to say is good luck. We’ll be honoured to be trusted with your work, and - most of all - we’re excited to get to know as many of you as possible. Don’t hesitate to say hi on twitter (Natalie and Angelica)!

Hold on…Banjo wants to say something…